Now I’ve never said that I was a movie-fanatic but I do know how to pick out a good movie. This past Saturday I spent some time with my moms and watched some DVDs and whatnot. Discussing the recent movies that we’ve seen and what we like and dislike. I knew that me and my moms have complete different taste in movies, I like old school kung fu like Shaolin Master Killer, she like epic fantasies like Lord of the Rings Trilogy: Extra Extended 3-day long 15 disc box set. While bullshitting about movies, I thought of what movies I will not and can not every watch for that my hate for them is so strong, a mere glimpse will make my balls fall off.

Let’s start off with my boy, Treach from the group Naughty by Nature. Besides all the “Sam Spade” monologue, completely unrealistic gun fights, the movie made little sense. There was less dick and better acting in the porn flick he did. Actually you probably be better off watching the porn flick than seeing this movie.
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There’s only one reason why I hate this depressing ass movie, besides that Puffy is in it. The sentence “Make me feel good again…” That entire sequence made my fucking skin crawl. Watching supple Halle, getting banged by gross-ass Billy Bob. What made it worse was I was watching it with my moms. Its was more uncomfortable then watching Queer as Folk with her and she saying “How he jump up that little boy’s ass with no lube?”
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If you ever played the coin-op game, don’t go see this movie. If you ever seen the arcade that houses the game this movie was based on, don’t see the movie. If you’ve heard each the words house, of, the, and dead used in a sentence and not necessarily the same sentence, I plead that you don’t watch this movie. This movie was so un-Godly bad, that George Romero had to sue so no one would use the word “Zombie” near this movie.