Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town?
I’m counting on you, Lord, please don’t let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town?

I actually anticipated less of a fanfare for my birthday, but maybe I’m being a pessimestic dick again. Anyway, I’ve been been in a general funk the past week, and not only becasue of my birthday (which I have every right to be pissy about, its my party and I can cry if I want to) but also because the amount of energy I seem to be lacking.

First things first, I stopped putting any consderable thought into celebrating my birthday. Since the last time anyone put any effort into acknowledging it was here. The same thing goes for holidays as well. Maybe the cause is I never got that toy I wanted as a child or maybe I’m just jade from years of disappointment, either way my past birthday was just another Tuesday to me, nothing eventful happened. Even though, my mother, my father & step-mother (both who I haven’t spoken to in over a year) left voicemail messages and some of my frat sent some e-cards, I didn’t feel like being bother and went to bed fairly early so I could get some rest. Secondly on a somewhat related topic I would like to announce that sex is not a proper birthday present. If you were offering me ass last week simply because it was Thursday, why would I think it would be any more special on my birthday? Lame or maybe I’m being an insufferable dick again.

Speaking of which, I’ve decided to keep it in my pants since I’ve been suffering though what can only be described as being bored with sex. Granted I’ve haven’t had any in some time, the general concepts and unoriginally I’ve encountered have pretty much turned me off. Oddly the need to expand my Collection and have relations with the wifey have not cease. I was told that matching blisters on my hand and penis isn’t a cute look.

Been spending some time, hanging out with a some very cool individuals. I thoroughly enjoy their company and one in particular, I’m starting to feel something for them. I find myself looking forward to Wednesday where I would go to his place to watch TV (my cable non-provider doesn’t carry certain channels), have dinner and just chill. We have completely different ideolgies, yet I see where a lot alike. And while its easy for me to put all of this out there, I can’t really say it to them since I don’t want to rock the boat. Why does being emotional suck or do I just miss thinking with my dick?

I’ve come to the concensus that I’m a Grade-A mooron. As I was paying my NIPSCO bill through my bank online bill payment system, generally not paying attention to what I do with my money, I submitted a $300 payment to go through on the 29th of September (i.e. my next payday). Unfortunately the ‘2′ I used to change the date ‘19′ into ‘29′ didn’t go into the right box. So not checking the form before I hit submit, I sent in a payment of $2300 to go through on the 19th. I honestly think that my dick has a bigger brain.

My Birthday Gift To Myself

Been debating on whether or not to post this due to my mixed emotions about the subject matter and because I really don’t think I make any valid points. Essentially this is an excerpt from an IM conversaton I had the yesterday night regarding the lack of 9/11 posts on my site.

Them: Hey, why haven’t you posted anything on 9-11.
Tony: I’m not good with things like that.
Them: What do you mean?
Them: You haven’t posted anything on attacks in the past
Them: don’t you think its time you should?
Tony: dude, slow up for minute.
Tony: I dont like to celebrate death. I don’t think its a health thing to do.
Tony: *healthy*
Them: How did you come to that conclusion?
Tony: If we focus to much on death, how can we live?
Them: So you don’t acknowledge the attacks?
Tony: Of course I do, thats not the point I was trying to make. I can’t begin to explain the feeling of numbness on that day. Shit I still feel that way now.
Them: so why haven’t you wrote about?
Tony: I’ve try, but I just can’t find the words

It’ll be exactly a week until my 26th birthday. And I’m sitting here, quarter to six in the morning at work, wondering about things that I want for my day but I know I definitely cannot have. Birthday’s suck.

Finally replaced my stolen cap

I hope everyone had enjoyed their holiday. I’m trying to be in a better mood but I’m guessing that I’ll be out of my funk by this weekend; when I have a few days to not look at people that irratated me. But I digress.

So my trip to Philly and Washington was cool. My mom, her Purse-holder and myself flew out of Chicago/Midway International Bus Terminal in this tiny-ass United plane to Washington Dulles. Which was scary becasue landed during the tail-end of Ernesto and the was that Washington Dulles is set up, to board and exit the plane, you have to leave the terminal and go outside. IN TO THE ELEMENTS, IN THE STORM.

After spending sometime at my Uncle’s huge house in Fairfax County, we all journeyed up to I-95 to go to my Great Aunt’s suprise birthday in Philly. The party was cool, I saw cousins, 2nd cousins that I haven’t seen in years and 3rd and 4th cousins scurring around the house playing and relatives who remember me being that quiet kid playing with the toys in the corner but I had no idea who they were.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I’m getting OLD. My cousins are all having kids, growing up and becaming adults and I’m thinking about the action figures that will come out for the new Transformers movie. While looking at pictures of my cousin new born son, my mom said to me. “Don’t know how you’re gonna work it out, but you need to get me a grandbaby!” In the next few weeks, I’m going to be 26 years old and before people start thinking that I’m all depressed and sad about getting old, this is only a introspective. Remember my blog is a collection of random thoughts that barely form a cohesive thought. But maybe I should start looking ahead to the future and settle down.

On the ‘Fuck The World’ meter I think I’m registering a 7 or 8. I was all set to post some shit about chilling with my family this holiday weekend, going to Philadelphia from my Great Aunt’s 73rd birthday party, flying to Washingtion Dulles Airport an incredibly tiny jet and realizing that I’m getting so fucking OLD.
Anyway… I got a bottle of Patron and a shot glass with my name on it.

You decide…